ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Randomize
