That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
