So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
