I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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