I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
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