Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
