how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
