Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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