We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
