broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
