Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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