Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
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