I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
