No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking ros�, bitch!
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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