maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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