I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
