I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
