am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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