If i come over, it means nothing
did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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