So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Randomize
