I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Randomize
