Me too!
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
