from now on my penis is your penis
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
