u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
