I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
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