I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
