I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Randomize
