so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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