I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Randomize
