If i come over, it means nothing
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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