It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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