Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Randomize
