yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
