how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
