So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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