PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
