This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
