Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
