I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
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