escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
