thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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