We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
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