Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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