new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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