She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
My dad just said "fuck circus"
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
