i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
