I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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