Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
