What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Well I just put wine in my tea
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
