I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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